Respectful Disagreement

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Anyone who pays any attention at all knows the socio-political climate has been tense lately. In the days surrounding the presidential inauguration there have been protests and controversies and celebrity statements all over the media. On social media it looked like election season again as people battled each other over who supports who. But today, this headline wins over all the others I have seen: “Man bites ear off another man during argument about Trump!” I don’t even care about politics, but I had to click that headline. The article didn’t give much more detail than that – not even who supported Trump and who opposed. Honestly, I don’t think it matters. The fact is that we have gotten crazy enough over politics that people are biting each other’s ears off! Whatever happened to reasonable disagreement? What happened to civility and respect? Have we lost our collective American minds?

I think it is high time that we stop arguing like spoiled little children who name call and bite each other and start discussing issues like adults. Regardless of your political persuasion –or even if politics isn’t your thing at all- conflict and issues can only be resolved through profitable discussion. Disagreement is inevitable, so when it happens, stay respectful. Do not name call. Do not make personal attacks. Disagreement can always be done in a kind, loving, and respectful manner. When this happens, the door is often open for genuine dialogue about real issues – and this is what has to happen. Whether it is a social issue like racial injustice or more personal issues like who’s not replacing the toilet paper roll when they finish it – problems are only resolved when the real issues are discussed.

Because of this, I want to ask all grown up Americans to stop bickering and arguing  and begin the process of healthy, respectful communication with those who hold opposing views. You can start today by offering kindness instead of cruelty and love instead of hate. With that change of perspective, go out and enter into genuine, respectful disagreements with people so that we can make this world a better place. And for heaven’s sake, don’t bite anybody!

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Disagreement Is Not Hatred

As father to 4 young children, it should come as no surprise that I often find occasion to discipline one of them. Not infrequently, one of them will respond by trying to turn the tables and accuse me of “being mean.” They will angrily scream things like “You don’t like me; you hate me. You’re so mean.” Now as a parent of small children, I don’t take these remarks personally. I merely take them as an indication that repentance hasn’t occurred and proceed to work toward that end.

These kinds of remarks, though, are also a reflection of the culture in which we are currently living. We are living in a culture in which no one can offer correction or criticism without being considered mean; a culture in which you cannot disagree without being intolerant and unloving.

We see this mentality play out in current events on a daily basis. Christians cannot teach that homosexuality is a sin without being called hateful. Law abiding citizens are unable to criticize violent protests and mob riots without being considered a racist. Concerned minorities cannot criticize the actions of law enforcement without getting called anti-police. Athletes cannot peacefully protest without being called un-American. Good people cannot disagree over politics and presidential candidates without calling each other names and questioning their spirituality or patriotism or both. It is time that we addressed this wrong perspective.

Contrary to current popular opinion, it is possible to love someone and disagree with them. There is indeed a proper place to lovingly correct someone. Now correction and disagreement can certainly be done in unloving or hateful ways, but the correction or disagreement itself is not unloving. In fact, sometimes the most loving thing we can do is point out to someone that they are wrong. In Proverbs 3:11-12, the Bible offers this advice: “My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD or loathe His reproof, for whom the LORD loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” These verses are speaking specifically of God’s correction, but I think they provide some insight into how we should view criticism. We should not reject it or resent it. We should accept it as an expression of love.

When done in the proper way, criticism or correction and disagreement can be a very loving thing. While we may not be able to change the world’s perspective on this, I hope that the church can learn to view correction and disagreement in a more biblical way. We must stop the name calling and accusations every time that someone disagrees with us and we truly need to learn to accept correction. We must endeavor to live out the truth of God’s Word while also accepting the differences in those around us. As important as it is that we demonstrate love in our actions, we must now also strive to manifest love in the way that we accept correction, criticism and disagreements.

 

Photo via Wikimedia Commons